“Ross, abiding with/in …”
Yes—“Ross and …” can be a skillful practice
The phrase “Ross and …” has a simple but important wisdom: Ross does not disappear when another person, emotion, memory, or difficulty enters awareness.
Instead of becoming completely absorbed in fear, you are recognizing:
Ross is here—and fear is here.
Instead of losing yourself inside another person’s needs or behaviour:
Ross is here—and this person is here.
This creates relationship rather than fusion. Ross and the experience are present together, but they are not identical.
Putting Ross first need not mean that Ross is more important than anyone else. It can mean:
- Ross is grounded before relating.
- Ross is included rather than abandoned.
- Ross remains present while welcoming what arises.
- Ross does not have to disappear in order to love another.
For someone who has often placed others, suffering, illness, or fear ahead of himself, “Ross first” can be a gentle correction rather than an act of self-centredness.
What “Ross and …” communicates
1. “Ross and fear”
This means:
Fear is present, but fear is not all of Ross.
The word and creates room around the fear. It allows Ross and fear to coexist without requiring fear to leave immediately.
You might notice the difference:
- “Ross is afraid” can identify Ross closely with fear.
- “Ross and fear” places them beside one another.
- “Ross abiding with fear” introduces compassionate relationship.
- “Ross abiding in love, with fear” establishes an even larger healing ground.
2. “Ross and Jesus”
This can express relationship, companionship, belonging, and shared presence. It does not require complicated theology. It may simply mean:
Ross is here. Jesus is here. Ross is not alone.
You might gently develop it as:
“Ross and Jesus.”
“Ross with Jesus.”
“Ross abiding in Jesus.”
“Ross abiding in Jesus, with what is.”
3. “Ross and another person”
“Ross and Brigitte,” “Ross and my daughter,” or “Ross and my son” can help you remember that there are two distinct people, each with a life, history, needs, choices, and responsibilities.
The phrase can quietly restore healthy boundaries:
I do not have to become the other person.
I do not have to solve the other person.
Ross and this person can both belong in awareness.
The difference between and, with, and in
These three small words can form a complete practice language.
AND — inclusion
“Ross and fear.”
“And” acknowledges what is present without demanding change. It is a meeting phrase.
It says:
This also belongs in awareness.
Use and when first recognizing a person, feeling, memory, sensation, or situation.
Examples:
- Ross and sadness.
- Ross and this pain.
- Ross and uncertainty.
- Ross and his childhood.
- Ross and today.
- Ross and Jesus.
WITH — relationship and accompaniment
“Ross abiding with fear.”
“With” is usually the wisest word for difficult emotions, body sensations, memories, and relationships. It allows closeness without suggesting that Ross is swallowed by the experience.
It says:
Ross can remain present beside this.
Examples:
- Ross abiding with loneliness.
- Ross abiding with his tired body.
- Ross abiding with uncertainty.
- Ross abiding with this memory.
- Ross abiding with his daughter.
- Ross abiding with what cannot be changed.
“With” preserves both compassion and boundaries.
IN — the larger ground
“Ross abiding in Jesus.”
“In” suggests that Ross is resting within something larger: Jesus, God, Pure Mind, love, compassion, awareness, peace, or the present moment.
It says:
This is the ground that holds Ross.
Examples:
- Ross abiding in Jesus.
- Ross abiding in Pure Mind.
- Ross abiding in love.
- Ross abiding in awareness.
- Ross abiding in the present moment.
- Ross abiding in God’s care.
“In” should be used more carefully with difficult states. For example, “Ross abiding in fear” could sound as though Ross is living inside or becoming immersed in fear. For healing work, it will usually be wiser to say:
“Ross abiding in love, with fear.”
Likewise:
“Ross abiding in Jesus, with sadness.”
“Ross abiding in Pure Mind, with pain.”
“Ross abiding in compassion, with this memory.”
This gives you a very useful spiritual grammar:
IN names the healing ground.
WITH names what is being accompanied.
AND names what is being included.
A simple Ross Abiding practice
1. Establish Ross
Begin without bringing in any problem.
“Ross.”
“Ross is here.”
“George Ross Clark is here.”
“Ross abiding in Ross.”
Pause and notice breathing, the chest, the face, the feet, and the support beneath the body.
The purpose is not to create a perfect state. It is simply to let Ross become present to Ross.
2. Include what is here
Add one person, emotion, sensation, or situation:
“Ross and fear.”
“Ross and pain.”
“Ross and Jesus.”
“Ross and this memory.”
Pause again. Let and do the work. You do not need to explain, analyze, or repair anything.
3. Choose the relationship
Move from inclusion into abiding:
“Ross abiding with fear.”
“Ross abiding with his body.”
“Ross abiding with this difficult day.”
Or establish the larger ground:
“Ross abiding in Jesus, with fear.”
“Ross abiding in Pure Mind, with pain.”
“Ross abiding in love, with this person.”
4. Offer a blessing
Complete the practice with your familiar blessing:
“May Ross and this fear be well and understood.”
“May Ross and this memory be held with kindness.”
“May this relationship be guided by wisdom.”
“May Ross remain loving and protected.”
Connecting it with Recognize–Embrace–Bless
Your practice fits naturally into your three-part healing protocol:
Recognize
“Ross and fear.”
Both Ross and fear are recognized.
Embrace
“Ross abiding with fear.”
Ross does not push fear away or become consumed by it.
Bless
“May Ross and this fear be well and understood.”
The blessing is offered to the whole relationship—not only to the fear and not only to Ross.
A spiritually grounded variation would be:
Recognize: “Ross and fear.”
Abide: “Ross abiding in Jesus, with fear.”
Bless: “May Ross and this fear be held in love.”
A deeper sequence for difficult moments
When an experience is strong, proceed slowly:
“Ross.”
“Ross is here.”
“Ross is breathing.”
“Ross and fear.”
“Fear is here with Ross.”
“Ross abiding with fear.”
“Ross abiding in love, with fear.”
“May Ross and this fear be well and understood.”
This sequence keeps returning to Ross as the stable human presence. You are not asking Ross to defeat fear. You are allowing Ross to become the compassionate companion of fear.
Working with another person
For relational tension, you might use:
“Ross and this person.”
“Two lives are present.”
“Ross abiding with this relationship.”
“Ross remains Ross.”
“May we both be well.”
“May Ross respond wisely.”
When boundaries are especially important:
“Ross can love without disappearing.”
“Ross can care without carrying everything.”
“Ross and this person are distinct.”
“Ross remains rooted in Ross.”
What purification means here
In this practice, purification need not mean removing every painful emotion, memory, or unwanted part. That can become another form of rejection.
A gentler understanding of purification is:
Bringing what has been hidden, feared, judged, or divided into honest awareness, compassionate relationship, and wise love.
Fear becomes purified when it is no longer met only with fear. Anger becomes purified when it is accompanied by awareness and responsibility. A memory becomes purified when Ross can remember it without abandoning the present-day Ross.
The aim is not:
“Fear must leave Ross.”
The deeper aim is:
“Fear no longer has to be alone, rejected, or in control.”
A concise foundational formula
Your practice could be summarized in one line:
Ross abiding in Love, with what is.
Or, within your Christian practice:
Ross abiding in Jesus, with what is.
And within Pure Mind practice:
Ross abiding in Pure Mind, with what is.
“Ross and …” is the doorway.
“Ross abiding with …” is the relationship.
“Ross abiding in …” is the healing ground.
Together, they form a gentle, realistic, and potentially very deep practice of:
- remaining Ross,
- welcoming experience,
- allowing everything to be held within a greater love.